This book will help you reach fewer goals in order to achieve your greatest dream of doing nothing, professionally. It will open your mind to how truly insignificant your effort is in the greater scheme of things. You will finish this book (or maybe you won’t) understanding that no matter how much you diet, upskill, downgrade and recycle your plastics, your efforts will always be eclipsed by billionaires, tech bros, side pieces and assholes who do whatever the fuck they want and whenever the fuck they want to.

As you take a mighty shit, I invite you to go on a journey with me to discover how success in life could be measured by living below one’s potential instead of above it. In the arena of below average, very little is asked of you, which sounds like fucking heaven to me. As either Denzel Washington, Cicely Tyson or some other fucker (google isn’t sure) once said, “a uHaul does not follow the hearse.”

So, just fucking chill.

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