CHAPTER 1
Occupy The Driver's Seat For Your Life
Every person sees the world differently, so essentially, there are six billion human versions of reality on this planet and each perceiving its own truth.
— Bruce H. Lipton
As a human being of sound mind (and I believe you are because you are reading this book), you must become the master of your life and the architect of your own destiny. You must not allow your life to be dictated by other people or things, including your circumstances. This means you must occupy the driver's seat for your life. This chapter suggests seven things you must understand to become a true master of your life. First, is the awareness that our realities of life originate from our thoughts. The first time I read this statement, I had to repeat reading it three times before I could believe what I was reading. But I have done extensive research on this, and I can share with you, with confidence and conviction, that it is indeed true. Second is the awareness that we can have full control of our minds and our thought processes. The major problem is that too few people can fully comprehend this fact of life. Third is the awareness of the fact that we truly enjoy our lives only when we have been able to control our mind and our thinking patterns. We must understand that life is supposed to be enjoyable; it's your birthright. Yet too few people truly enjoy their lives. Fourth is the awareness that there is no hidden magical secret that is revealed to a few people only, in controlling our minds and thought processes. This knowledge has been there since time immemorial and has been articulated by scholars from all over the world. Fifth is the awareness that we are naturally programed to react negatively to new things. Negativity is some kind of a natural self-protection mechanism, but it ends up being a major disempowering factor to individuals, which in turn blocks us from acquiring new and exciting knowledge and, hence, limits our true potential. Sixth, we must watch our mental attitudes. It is our attitudes towards life that determine the outcomes we get from life. Seventh is the awareness that thoughts function as a true master key of life. They have the potential to open up new horizons in our life but can also lock and block the avenues to our success.
Your realities of life originate from your thoughts: For a long time, I have been thinking about realities/truths of life. I noted, a long time ago, that different individuals have different realities about the same things. We observe in our everyday life that different people have different interpretations, perceptions, feelings, and opinions about the same things. And these are their realities or truths from the heart! But surprisingly, many people consider reality as something solid out there, which everyone is capable and actually expected to perceive, observe, or see the same way! I am not trying to be cynical, but most of us have heard many sayings that depict this notion. There are many Kiswahili sayings like "Mimi ni mkweli" (I am truthful); Msema kweli ni mpenzi wa Mungu (God likes people who tell the truth); "Ukweli unauma" (truth hurts); "Nimempa vidonge vyake/ukweli wake" (I told him/her the truth) and so many other sayings that give the impression that there is only one truth. This is a big fallacy that this book attempts to expound on! There are many realities of the same thing, or perhaps I would say there are many versions of reality for the same thing, depending on people's perceptions and perspectives. WE SEE THINGS DIFFERENTLY! WE PROVE THINGS DIFFERENTLY! AND IN ESSENCE, TRUTHS ARE DIFFERENT FOR DIFFERENT PEOPLE! Hence, when you want to understand the truth from another person's point of view, you must understand the context, i.e. the background, environment or circumstance, and the angle from which one is looking at a thing and forming opinions or drawing conclusions. This is because truth or reality is contextual. Some people have gone to the extent of saying that there is no such a thing as truth; there is only perspective truth.
I have done extensive research on the topic. My major finding has been that our realities of life originate from our thoughts. In other words, our thoughts create realities of our lives. The opinions we form and the conclusions we reach about the things we observe in the world outside us depend much on our thoughts. Likewise, the feelings, resentments, joy, encouragement, and all the emotions we experience in our bodies depend on the kind of thoughts that are going on in our minds. Thoughts help us shape the material world that surrounds us. Likewise, the feelings and other emotions we experience in the world within us also originate from our thoughts. Hence, the realities we testify in both our world within and the world without originate from our thoughts, individually and/or collectively.
Fortunately, we can control our minds and our thoughts: Many people, irrespective of their level of education, tend to think that thoughts just happen in one's mind and they do not have much they can do to control them. Statements like "you hurt my feelings" or "you make me feel bad" are very common, and resentment, accusations, and blaming others for individual failures and distress are the order of the day. All these demonstrate the misunderstanding and lack of realization of the simple fact that thoughts are the only culprit for our feelings. As a result, many people go through life experiencing misery and feeling helpless because they do not realize that what they CHOOSE to think about is actually the root cause of their misery and feelings of helplessness and hopelessness.
My research suggests that every person capable of thinking on his/ her own, irrespective of individual particular circumstances, historical background, physical strength, religious belief and affiliation, and even intellectual capacity, educational attainment, and other credentials, has the ability and power to control his/her mind and thoughts and acquire anything he/she desires in life.
I know there are many people whose first natural reaction to the statement above would be "Yah! I have heard that stuff before, but it does not work for me." Let me assure you, from my deepest knowledge and understanding, that by the time you finish reading this book, you will agree with me that indeed it is true: we have the power and ability to control our minds, think on our own, and acquire anything we desire, only that we must develop a burning desire and fierce determination and take unwavering action towards it. A mere wish is not good enough, and to assume that you can accomplish something by simply wishing it is to be naïve.
To enjoy life, you must control your mind and influence your thoughts: People have the ability and, in fact, deserve to live in abundance, enjoy peace of mind, create and live effective and rewarding relationships, live a physically and mentally healthy life, enjoy positive emotions of joy and happiness, and avoid traumas and negative emotions of fear, worry, hatred, anger, anxiety, hopelessness, and embarrassment. Living an enjoyable and fulfilling life is a birthright of every individual living on earth. But to be able to claim this birthright, there is no alternative; YOU MUST CONTROL YOUR MIND AND INFLUENCE YOUR THOUGHTS.
Yet we observe that many people languish in misery and unbearable poverty throughout their lives. It is only very few people who apparently live rewarding and fulfilling lives. Why? Although not many people would admit this, the main reason has to do with the way we think and the ability to harness the mysterious power of our thoughts. It is unfortunate that NOT so many people can fully comprehend this miraculous power of thoughts. They think it is theoretical, mere mind stuff. And more astounding is the fact that so many people, including distinguished intellectuals, take thoughts for granted, thinking that thoughts are natural, that thoughts simply happen and there is nothing much one can do about it. As such, they end up being punished and victimized by their failure to control their own thoughts.
It is an open secret: The mysterious power of thoughts, and our ability to control our mind and the thinking pattern or the thought processes, is not a new revelation, nor a recent discovery! Writers like James Allen, in his book As a Man Thinketh, published in 1903, talked about the power of thoughts, arguing that man becomes what he thinks about. The book The Master Key System, written by Charles F. Haanel in 1912, teaches how to harness the power of thoughts to acquire whatever one desires in life. Likewise, Wallace D. Wattles, in his book The Science of Getting Rich, written around the same era, in 1910, asserts that all of us have the ability to obtain enough wealth to live as we desire and fulfill our purpose in life through our thought patterns. More recent writers like Dr Joseph Murphy (1898–1981) in his numerous books, including The Miracles of Your Mind and The Power of Your Subconscious Mind, first published in 1963, and others like Rhonda Byrne in her movie and the book The Secret, written in 2006, Vishen Lakhiani in his book The Code of the Extraordinary Mind published in May 2016, and many other writers have continued to confirm that thoughts have a magnetic power of creating whatever is desired in individual lives through the natural law of attraction. And the message is loud and clear in all major religions of the world as reflected in their religious (holy) books.
But why do people fail to comprehend and utilize this latent power? Given the wealth of the literature around and the enlightenment from the wisdom of the ages, the intriguing question remains why most people seem not to understand or fully comprehend the power of thoughts. And even more puzzling is why so many people, including intellectuals, fail to realize the natural power they have of controlling or influencing their thoughts. As I noted earlier, it appears to me that the only reason is that people are brought up, since childhood, to believe that thoughts simply happen naturally and that there is nothing much one can do about it. In fact, as Bob Proctor noted in his numerous video clips, we are programmed through genetics and the surrounding environment to think in a particular way. And Bruce H. Lipton, in his various video clips and his famous book The Biology of Belief, argued that about 95 per cent of the lives of many people are shaped by the programming from childhood between the ages of 1 and 7 years.
The programming from childhood forms a habitual pattern of thinking, which ends up overriding our intellect. Hence, based on this habitual pattern of thinking, and the belief that there is no much one can do about it, many people end up being victims of their own thoughts and belief! This book challenges that belief and asserts that it is a big lie and is one of the astounding fallacies of life. Every person with sound mind has a full control of his or her mind, and therefore, all of us have the ability to control and influence our own thoughts. In fact, as human beings, we are all the time making choices, whether consciously or unconsciously, on what to think about.
But why should we care about what we are thinking about? Why worry about our thoughts? This is exactly why I decided to write this book. You can ignore everything else in the book, but don't underestimate the power of your thoughts! I would consider that the most important revelation in this book (and in fact is not new because it has been explained over and over again in many different books, including religious books) is that THOUGHTS MAKE US. Earl Nightingale (1921–1989), a famous author and one of the authorities on the science of personal achievement, asserts that we literally make ourselves through our thought patterns, but it is only the successful people who would admit it. The reality is that thoughts have the ability to make us and can equally break our lives, depending on how we allow ourselves to think about things and events and the pattern of thoughts we entertain. If we think negatively, we initiate a spiral that begins to limit our potentials and block us from seeing the opportunities and eventually breaks our lives; and if we think positively, we start a different spiral that starts to realize the available opportunities, garner our potentials, and harness the mysterious power of thoughts to acquire what we desire.
Given the nature of thoughts and their power to make or break us, the only logical conclusion is that WE MUST BE VERY CAREFUL WITH THE WAY WE ALLOW OURSELVES TO THINK. The real challenge in life is how to tell whether you are thinking the right or the wrong way for yourself. This is particularly more difficult because there is no one out there with the ability to tell you for sure whether the way you are thinking is the right or the wrong way for you. The only way you will know is through your feelings. And it's you and only you who can experience your feelings!
Usually we feel good when we are thinking about something that is in our best interests and of benefit to others, and it's the opposite when we are thinking about something which is not in our best interest. The bottom line is that if you are feeling bad then there must be something that your mind is entertaining, or in other words, you will most certainly be thinking about something that is causing your ill feelings; and if you are feeling good, it is the reverse, you will most likely be thinking about something that makes you feel great. As Eleanor Roosevelt once noted, "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." And William Shakespeare said, "There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so." You may also wish to recall the famous Henry Ford quote "Whether you think you can, or think you can't, you are right" either way.
I must say that among the important lessons I learned in my life was how to control my feelings and emotions. It all started with a book that I read way back in 1982. I stumbled upon the book by Dr Wayne Dyer titled Your Erroneous Zones and read it through. For the first time in my life, I recognized the errors that people make when it comes to controlling the inner self or emotions. I can say that from that time on, I raised awareness of myself as an individual. I realized that I had some power within myself that could control my feelings. And since that time, I resolved never to be upset by anything or anyone any more. I realized that my REACTION to events and happenings is what counts. For the first time in my life, it was clear that all of my emotions come from my thoughts and not the events that occur in the outside world. It also became very clear that we all have the ability to avoid disappointments, resentments, and hurting our feelings.
But in order to be able to exercise this inner power, the rule of thumb is that you should avoid allowing yourself to persistently think negatively and about things that make you feel bad. I deliberately use the word "persistently" because there are occasions and circumstances that give us no alternative but to bear the bad feelings, and at times, we must force ourselves to go beyond our comfort zones. BUT we must not allow ourselves to get stuck in thinking negatively about things because negativity blocks us from further knowledge and end up weakening ourselves.
Remember we are programmed to think negatively as our first natural reaction: It is a protective mechanism that we are naturally programmed to react negatively to new things until we become comfortable with them. This is what I call the negativity trap. To come out of this trap, we have to reprogram ourselves to understand that there is always the positive and the negative side of everything and, hence, strive to consider also the positive side. If you cannot think of something positive from an event, then consider the learning experience from the distasteful event or occurrence. We must understand that although we are naturally programed to think negatively on the first instance, this natural reaction blocks our mind from further exploration and new knowledge. We should keep reminding ourselves that it's only when we are positive that our minds become wide open and receptive to new ideas, and in this way, we become truly capable of learning more and exploring the wonderful world full of unknowns.
