Transform Your Loss: Your Guide to Strength and Hope

This book comes in the wake of a television segment in which I participated and discussed the issue of losses and how to deal with them. After this program, many people asked me if I had ever written a book about loss, because they wanted a guide on how to turn their life around after going through a grieving process. Analyzing people's need for more guidance on this subject—which is so universal, yet so ignored—I decided to write this book. I was inspired because I had experienced the loss of my father at the age of twelve, and at that time I had no professional help or books to give me hope or consolation either. I am aware that this experience of loss changed my life and was the flame that gave me the desire to help other mourners to process their losses and, in turn, to transform their lives.With the birth of this book, thirty-six years after the physical loss of my father, I give tribute to his memory, which I always carry with me: Love does not end, it is transformed … But we have to be aware that when talking about losses we do not need to limit ourselves to loss by death alone. We face countless situations in our daily lives that cause us pain and grief. We live in a society that avoids talking about losses. We believe that it is logical to maintain the attitude of “I'm well and I hope that you are also all right.” We can appreciate this attitude when we ask someone how they are, and are surprised if we do not hear the preconceived answer “Fine, and you?” Although we continually face loss and go through the grieving process, we still have not become used to speaking about the topic. We realize that we are part of a society in denial of grief, as Elizabeth Kübler-Ross said when she spoke of the five stages of grief, which are applicable to all kinds of losses: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. The first of these stages is precisely the denial. While we remain in this stage we cannot really process our losses or understand those of others. We must recognize that sometimes we are not okay, and we need to share and process that experience. Similarly, we need to be aware that we have within us the power to move forward and transform our misfortune into a source of personal and spiritual growth.With my desire to give you that opportunity, Transform Your Loss was born. This is an interactive book that discusses and illustrates the various types of losses we face in life, how we react to them, and how we can transform them. In its final part, I offer you the tools necessary to transform your loss after you have read the testimony of those who decided to share their own stories of loss, with the intention of helping you in your moment of pain or confusion. Although most of these stories deal with the loss of a loved one, other losses that are significant in our lives have been included. Keep in mind that each of these stories is written with great feeling and in the spirit of helping you in your own process. Each of these people, including myself, went through pain and grief similar to yours after our loss. I do not say the same kind of grief, as each person's is unique. Many of us feel that sometimes we are unable to get up and go on with life. However, a number of us have shared our stories to assure you that, although we do not know you, we feel very close to you in your loss. We have opened our souls and hearts to let you know that, like you, we have suffered, we have cried, and we have trusted—and transformed our loss. Our losses are part of life, and we must learn to deal with them and grow during the grieving process.My greatest desire with this book is to inspire you to take the opportunity and necessary steps to transform your loss and, consequently, to change your life.

Ligia M. Houben, MA, CT, CG-C, ACCP, is a specialist in issues of life transition, with experience as a consultant, coach, counselor and lecturer. She has degrees in Psychology and Religious Studies from the University of Miami. Ligia has a Master of Arts degree in Religious Studies, and did graduate studies in Gerontology and Loss and Healing. She is also a fellow of the American Academy of Grief Counseling. As a certified thanatologist and a certified grief counselor, she specializes in helping people who suffer losses or challenges, using a transformation process, The Eleven Principles of Transformation,tm that is designed to generate spiritual rebirth and subsequent personal growth. The consequent outcome is to, integrally, achieve a higher quality and deeper appreciation of life. To learn more about Ligia's professional background and experience and the educational and professional services she offers, visit her website (www.ligiahouben.com.) There you will find complementary information, such as her statements in the media (CNN in Spanish, among others); reviews of her national and international conferences, and information on her articles, some of which have appeared in international publications. Her teaching as a university professor (in Death and the Process of Bereavement, Religion, and Ethics) in traditional classrooms and virtual spaces, as well as her social work, are aimed at all ages. She gives special attention to older persons, especially their spiritual well-being, as featured in her e-book Aging and Spirituality: The Fourth Dimension™. Ligia has also integrated meditation as a powerful tool for transforming any loss, or just to achieve spiritual well-being. Her guided meditation CD, Momentos de Reflexión©, is a complement to the Spanish edition of this book, Transforma tu pérdida: Una antología de fortaleza y esperanza.