CHAPTER 1

INTRODUCTION

"Our doubts are traitors that make us lose the good weoft might win, by fearing to attempt."

—Wm. Shakespeare.

I love this quote.

The need to write down the process I use has becomemore and more pressing as I become older. Whenstudents ask me what will happen to my work when I amgone, I know I must be showing signs of wear. What willhappen is that it will go on. Knowledge is universal andbelongs to those who seek it out. Several of my studentshave become teachers and I hope many more will do so.By writing down, as best I can, how this process worksand affects us on every level, hopefully distortion willbe avoided. Some people do not truly grasp this processand seek to make better something that is already in itspure form. So this is literally a source book, a place toreturn to when unsure.

I've begun this book many times, and thrown it outmany times. I wasn't listening to my own philosophy of"coming from the heart" and consequently everything Iwrote sounded pretentious. Fear was getting in the way;fear of not being good enough or smart enough to dojustice to this wonderful process. Probably fear of lookingridiculous played a big part too, but as actors we get usedto making fools of ourselves. It comes with the territory.Writing was a new and untried area and I wanted to getit right. As we know, fear is the greatest inhibitor. Weteach what we need to learn and I teach all about lettinggo of control and facing our fears. Maybe I'm finallylearning my lesson because now, several years later, theneed to express has become greater than the fear andthe need to get it right. One's fear of being wrong sooften gets in the way of being right. Control is the childof fear, forcing us to keep everything close, tight, small,safe. Some very profound person, whose name I neverknew, said, "In order to worry, it is necessary to be inyour head." Fear will put you firmly in your head.

Finally, I'm writing from my heart and listening tothose that guide me. I do not work alone and I try to bea voice for the wisdom and knowledge that has come tome and through me over the years. Teaching has beenan incredible journey, both humbling and uplifting.Through teaching I've learnt more about myself, andacting, than I ever did through therapy or study. I'vealways been fascinated by what motivates highly sensitive,vulnerable people to follow this path that is so rife withrejection. I'm sure that on a conscious level it's the needto express themselves in an art form that is close totheir soul and one which fulfills them creatively. Overthe years I have come to recognize how much we aredriven by our sub-conscious needs. The most constantand recurring theme is: an overwhelming need for approvalon a grand scale - in order to overcome virtually nonexistentself-worth. I know this need intimately and it'sgiven me a greater understanding and compassion forthose I work with.

Many feel there is a certain mystique to what I do andhow I work because it is intuitive and involves more ofthe senses than they care to own. The only mystery to meis how they can call themselves creative and fail to ownall of their power. The creative energy and intuitive giftsare allies, inhabiting the same side of the brain. If youdevelop one, you will undoubtedly positively affect theother, whether you accept it or not. As Albert Einsteinso brilliantly put it:

"The intuitive mind is a sacred gift. The rationalmind is a faithful servant. We have created a societythat honours the servant and has forgotten the gift."

I bring a great deal of my own spiritual philosophyto the work, because that is who I am. It is an integralpart of my work and everything I do, so I won't leave itoutside the door. Ultimately we are all spiritual beingsand, if they allow me, I work with people on that level,soul to soul, heart to heart. That is where great change iscreated. I wish I could do that more in my own everydaylife but the distractions are often overwhelming, and Iam all too human. I hope you will be inspired to own allof your gifts and commit one hundred percent to yourdevelopment on every level. Actors can have such greatpower in the world and my wish is that they becomehealthy role models. Deal with your issues now, as yougo along, and with any luck you won't be reading aboutthem in the tabloids. Stay open and believe in magic.

CHAPTER 2

TRAINING

"We must find ourselves through our passion - not loseourselves in it."

—Shea

I feel very blessed to have worked with Charles Conrad,whose process resonated so profoundly with me.Charles encouraged me to teach, even though I foundthe prospect daunting, to say the least. One of the thingshe told me was "In order to be a great teacher, you haveto love your students." At the time I thought that was verysweet and quite endearing but I really didn't understandwhat he meant until I started teaching. When actorsbegin working I move my energy forward, connect withthem, go inside. I am able to see the true beauty andtruth of who they really are, the source, if you will. ThenI cannot not love them.

I cannot be all things to all people, even though myego would like me to be. There are many approaches toacting and many diverse philosophies. We are all uniqueand what works for one may not work for another. Whatstimulates one mind leaves another bored beyond belief.It would be pure arrogance to claim to have a program,formula, or methodology that works for everyone. Theprocess I use is the only one I have encountered thatworks for an extremely high percentage of actors. Itstimulates the creative energy, challenges the emotionalbody and is altogether very exciting. There are manypeople who try the "acting by numbers" approach.Follow steps 1 - 10 and your auditions will be great and,big bonus, you'll be safe and in total control. Control isdeath to creative energy. It doesn't do too much for thehuman either.

As artists we must cull from every source. We musttake from every teacher those things that work for us.We must develop the ability and the discernment totake the best and leave the rest. Ultimately one has tocreate one's own philosophy and approach to the work.It may be heavily influenced by certain people, but thebottom line is that it has to work for you and your uniqueinstrument. The acting teacher is there to show you theway, push you, and lend you their passion and energy.However, there comes a time when you have to pick upthe reins yourself. Someone else will not do it for you ormake you great. You have to do it for yourself.

There are many bad acting teachers in the world butyou can learn something wherever you go - even if it'sonly to be more careful with your money! Do remember,though, that no-one wakes up one morning and thinks"I know what I'll do for the rest of my life, I'll be a reallybad acting teacher." They usually do the best they canbut sometimes they fall short, sometimes they causeharm, and sometimes they're just not people you want tospend your time and energy with. I get many "refugees"from other teachers and I'm saddened to see just howdamaging, on every level, a bad teacher can be.

Actors are sensitive beings and hopefully, throughtraining and gaining confidence, they will develop a thickenough skin for this industry without compromisingtheir creativity. Sometimes just a chance remarkcan doom an overly-sensitive actor to intensive soul-searching.I'm as careful as I can be but some days I feelas if I'm navigating through a minefield of egos andhyper-sensitivity. Every now and then I hit one. I haveactually heard it said that, "It's a tough industry and ifthey can't handle criticism, they don't belong here." Ilike to think I'm in the business of supporting dreams,not destroying people. I've seen the most timid peopleblossom with careful nurturing. I've seen them developtheir confidence and talent and eventually make a careerin the "tough industry". Sure, it's not easy but aren't ourdreams and desires those things that drive us forwardand move us to greatness? I've never told anyone to giveup their dream. Sometimes I've wished I could, but overthe years I've seen too many people who appear to havelittle talent, but great tenacity, grow into solid workingactors. I've wondered why some people want to be actors,but never actively deterred people from pursuing theirdream. If I've refused to work with someone it's usuallybased on their personality or behaviour, certainly notbased on their level of exposed or available talent. Often,I've found, there's a higher purpose. They may not be thenext great star, but maybe they'll have stimulated theircreativity and discovered that they're really wonderfulwriters or directors or filmmakers. Everyone has a voiceand finding its forum is usually the work of a lifetime.

Unfortunately, there are too many people who thinkthat because they're good actors and have a huge resumethat they can teach. Wrong! Acting and teaching aretwo entirely different gifts. A great actor may be totallyincompetent at teaching. Some fortunate beings areblessed with both gifts. Check it out. You absolutely mustaudit classes.

When looking for a teacher it's important to see wherethey're coming from. Are they motivated by greed, ego?I have no tolerance for people who get into the teachingbusiness because they think they can make easy money.I also have no tolerance for those who use teaching as aplatform for their ego and spend too much time talkingabout themselves. Fairness is a big issue with me andI would be very upset if I thought actors in my classesdidn't get good value for their money. For many years Iundercharged, thinking I was helping poor or financiallystrapped actors. It was not respected. People still hangon to the erroneous belief that if they're paying a lot ofmoney they must be getting the best.

A personal pet peeve is an auditing fee. This is thepractice of charging actors to watch a class so they maydecide if they wish to join it. I understand that the feeis used to discourage "professional auditors" - peopledoing the rounds to get free classes - but to me it's likegoing to a supermarket and being charged to look at thevegetables before I buy them!

I cannot emphasize enough how important it is toaudit a class before you join. I won't allow anyone tobegin my classes unless they do. We both need to checkeach other out. I had one fellow determined to joinwithout auditing because he lived a long way away anddidn't want to make an extra trip. I refused to let him inand he reluctantly made the journey to audit. I explainedthat the classes could be quite emotional and he wasvery excited about this because he said that was exactlywhat he needed. He showed up and became increasinglynervous as the class progressed. By the end of theevening he was absolutely terrified, far too frightenedto get up and do a cold read. What he actually neededwas therapy, not an acting class. Timing is everythingand just because you think you need something doesn'tmean you are ready to receive it. Be very sure you knowwhat you're getting yourself into.

When you're auditing, behave yourself. It's not atime to file and paint your nails, offer a critique, chatterincessantly or make out with your boy/girlfriend in thedarkness of the back row. I have refused to accept peopleinto my classes for all of these reasons.

There are many paths to the goal of honest work. Doyour homework and look around. What is the quality ofthe work in the class? Is it truthful? Remember, they allhave off nights. How supportive and safe is the group?That's very important. Does the teacher tell lots ofanecdotes about him/herself? Check out the energyaround the teacher - is it positive, negative, light ordark? Is it a class where you actually do the work or areyou expected to learn from watching? Watching is veryimportant and is an excellent additional learning tool,but it doesn't take the place of hands-on work.

If you are uncertain about where to go, the bestguide is the one inside you. Go where you feel drawn andalways look for truth, honesty and emotional integrity asthese are the foundations that create great work.

CHAPTER 3

THE WORK

THE PROCESS

"Intellect has nothing to do with acting."

—S. Meisner.

"Control is an illusion."

—Shea

This appears to be such a simple process and for someit is. However, the simplest things may often be themost frustrating and difficult to master, especially ifone is entrenched in a more traditional approach that isanalytical and dictates how something should be. Whenone allows the work, instead of making it go a certain way,it will play you honestly and in the same way over andover - which is crucial in film work.

Simplicity and artlessness are qualities most actorsneed to embrace. We always think we should do more, orbe more, and consequently try harder until the creativespark is extinguished and the work is beaten to a pulp.YOU ARE ENOUGH - stop acting.

Most of us want to control the work because it makesus feel safe and many turn to an analytical techniqueto satisfy that need to control - writing copious notes tocapture fleeting insights - but mostly, just trying to figureit all out. I've worked that way and I know it satisfiesthe ego's need for gratification in terms of creating acharacter, owning it, and accepting the praise. We haveto go beyond the ego and allow the character to playour wonderful, unique instrument. We must create asensitized instrument that will not only uncover theessence and emotional life of the character, but alsoallow it to play us. That is truly where the ultimatepersonal satisfaction lies.

Once we accept that control is extremely limitingand does not allow the freedom we crave, we may beginto move forward. The need to control is fear based andan analytical approach to the work provides a degree ofcomfort and the illusion of safety. However, the talentthen becomes confined by the mind and may onlyexpand and grow within the boundaries of our limitedimaginations. I have seen many very good analyticalactors, but those who become truly great following thatpath are usually in the business so long that they'vegiven up their technique and just do the work. Alltechnique, no matter the art form, is supposed to betranscended, but few actually do this. Not many actorshave the courage, opportunity or the longevity.

Many "thinking" actors develop a slickness to theirwork that I find quite nauseating. I always want to rufflethem a bit, shake them up. However, some of theseactors are constantly working. Maybe it's their look, ormaybe others aren't so insistent that the work be totallytruthful. Often, getting the job is as simple as having agreat look or the right look.

If you absolutely cannot let go of your need forcontrol, then my way of working is not for you.

We must be the best we can be and aspire togreatness - nothing less. If it is not our path to be aworking actor or a superstar, we will, at least, havehad the supreme satisfaction of being present, fullyalive, and doing wonderful work. Your dreams andaspirations move you forward and hopefully on thisjourney you'll discover who you really are and come tounderstand that the true goal is one of self-awarenessand enlightenment; you've just chosen a very difficultpath upon which to find it.

So let's see how we reach this euphoric state of beingin the work.

I took the process that Charles Conrad used andtried to apply it to actors in Vancouver, with verymixed results. The problem was not with the processbut more to do with the extremely different energiesin both places and people. L.A. has tremendous,light, crackly energy that totally supports creativity.Charles could give his students flat boring scenesand they would become magical. I would give peopleflat boring scenes and they mostly remained flat,boring scenes. So my approach had to change andeventually it evolved into the process I use today:"Acting from Source". I found I had to become morehands on and assertive. Sometimes shaking peopleup and sometimes calming them down and relyingheavily upon my intuitive guidance to know whereand when to safely apply pressure. I had to kick-startmany of my students with heavily emotional scenes toget some energy moving. It turned out to be a goodthing that Vancouver's energy is different because itmade me develop a process that allows my studentsto work anywhere. They learn to become self-reliantand generate the energy they need to do good work.When people are working well I bring out the flatboring scenes as a challenge - they rarely let medown. I had an actor who trained with me intensivelyfor 3 years with the intention of moving to L.A. Shebecame a fine actress and I told her that in L.A. thework would be effortless because the energy wasmore supportive. Later she told me: "I feel as thoughI've trained for a marathon but now I only have torun a hundred yards!"