Sweet Lemons—Life in Iran

Among the many delicious fruits in Iran, the most surprising is thesweet lemon—a fruit that looks like a lemon but tastes deceptivelysweet, like a mild orange—a fruit that symbolizes the many surprises,paradoxes, or complexities of life in Iran as we experienced it.

A few of these paradoxes include a seven-thousand-year-oldculture and architecture existing with modern-day skyscrapers andtraffic; turban-clad Islamic clerics with cell phones in hand; chador-cladwomen with active professional involvement; designer jeansand shoes underneath coats and chadors; tissue boxes in homesand offices with cultural taboos about blowing one's nose in public;a dislike of Western culture but enjoyment of American movies,cartoons, music, and toys; hesitancy to engage in political dialoguewith eagerness to engage in conversations about faith, education, andculture; Superman, Batman, and princesses in Iranian stores togetherwith Islamic children's books and toys; high regard for the Iranianeducational system with many youth studying abroad or dreamingof studying abroad; frequent statements of love for the Americanpeople with statements against the American government; and twoAmericans (us!) warmly welcomed to study in the conservativeIslamic city of Qom, a city that houses few other American personnelor interests.

Making the Decision to Live in Iran

Our journey to Iran began in 1969, after we had completed fouryears of medical work in Nigeria, West Africa, during the BiafranCivil War. The experience of living in Nigeria grew in us a deepappreciation for other cultures, history, and people groups, and whenwe left Nigeria in 1969, we decided we would engage once again incross-cultural service when our children were grown and able tolive on their own. The opportunity to do this came in 2001, when wereceived a phone call from the director of human resources at theMCC headquarters in Akron, Pennsylvania.

We had been applying to various service organizations,volunteering our gifts to be used where needed, and had begun tolearn Spanish, assuming we would be going to a Spanish-speakingcountry. In fact, we were working our way through the Rosetta StoneSpanish program when the phone call from MCC rang a differentopportunity.

The human resources person on the other end asked if we wouldconsider an assignment in the student-exchange program developedjust a few years earlier in Iran. As we learned about this program, webecame deeply drawn to the possibility of living among the IranianMuslims, building friendships and relationships, partnering indialogue, and learning about the traditions and faiths of others. Aftermuch thought and discernment, we signed a three-year commitmentto participate with MCC in this student-exchange program to liveand learn in Iran.

Preparing to Cross the Boundaries

We were not unaware of the various challenges we would face in thisjourney to Iran. Obtaining student visas and learning the Persianlanguage and customs were two such challenges.

The challenge of obtaining student visas to Iran led us todiscover new places as we waited for our very first student visas tobe approved by the Iranian government. While we waited, we flewto the Philippine Islands for a week of meetings, expecting to pickup our visas at the Iranian embassy that same week. After arrivingin Manila we discovered the visas were not yet ready, which enabledus to enjoy three weeks discovering a new country and its culture,continue our language study, and anxiously wait. That day finallyarrived and the excitement was memorable as our eyes were glued toour passports and we watched that yellow student visa being stampedinto the empty, waiting page.

For the language-learning part, we studied with an Iranianstudent at Indiana University, spent two weeks at the BostonLanguage Institute in intensive-language immersion, and purchaseda Persian language program and various books to study.

Learning the Persian language was difficult, and our age—wewere in our sixties at the time—did nothing to help us. The alphabet,similar to Arabic, was unrecognizable, and reading and writing fromright to left was awkward. Our mouths and tongues struggled topronounce the harsh kh sound found in so many Persian words, andthe absence of vowels in the written script meant that our ears had tobe trained to hear the various vowel sounds. However, dialogue witha diversity of Iranians and reading Persian poetry became possibleonly because of this language training. When we finally arrived inIran, we felt accomplished to be able to speak and write a few basicsentences in Persian.

In addition to language training, we spent time learning aboutIranian culture and customs to prepare for our journey to Iran.For this learning, it was important to spend time with our Iraniancounterparts in the student-exchange program, two Iranian familiesliving in Toronto. When we visited these families in Toronto, wewere warmly welcomed by fragrant Persian foods and hospitality.In addition, one of the women, Masumeh, helped me (Evie) preparefor life as a woman in Iran—a life that included proper dress andcustom.

Masumeh took me to her bedroom, pulled out several scarves,and carefully taught me how to put on the scarf so that none of myhair would show. The scarves were beautiful and colorful, and as Itried on each one, Masumeh would comment whether it was foldedright or came far enough down my forehead.

She also introduced me to the chador and mantow I would wearto cover my body. The chador is literally translated as tent in Persian.It is approximately nine yards of fabric, usually black, that coversthe body but leaves the face and hands exposed. The mantow is along, tunic-style coat. She informed me that only my face and handsshould show when out in public. She pulled several lightweight coatsfrom her closet and had me try them on. When she noticed they weretoo long and too wide, she quickly pulled out her sewing machine,sat on the floor, and adjusted the length and width.

How pleased she looked when I modeled the coat and scarf forher. I laughed to see myself in such attire and asked her to take apicture so I could show my friends and family how I would dress inIran. Throughout the "modeling" session we were laughing together,and I knew then that I would enjoy the company of Iranian women!

Before leaving the room, Masumeh packed several scarves andcoats for me to take to Iran. She also reminded me not to shake handswith men unless they first offered their hand, and she encouragedme to buy shoes that could be removed easily before entering homes,mosques, or office settings, as is the custom in Iran. Later in theevening, her preschool son taught me the Persian names for colors,and by the end of the evening, I had learned a few things about thenew life ahead of me in Iran.

Another important encounter we had before leaving was to meetthe Iranian ambassador to the United Nations, and I was instructedto dress in a scarf and coat. I found my stomach tight and bodytense as we entered his office waiting room: What would I say? Whatwould he ask? Where would I sit? Would I remember not to offermy hand for a handshake? The point of our visit was to inform theambassador of our decision to go to Iran and to explain how we sawour assignment there. Needless to say, I was looking forward to thisvisit being over.

When the ambassador opened the door to call us into his office,it seemed this visit may not be so difficult. He was laughing andimmediately offered us tea, fruit, and candy. He talked about Iranand his enthusiasm about such an exchange program. We similarlyexpressed our enthusiasm about the opportunity. He quoted Persianpoets, and we noticed Persian poetry books on the table and Persianpaintings on his wall.

As we were leaving, he reminded us of the importance of Jesusto the Iranians and blessed us, saying, "Go and shine like Jesus!"

Perhaps the primary challenge in crossing the boundaries andbarriers to live in Iran was attitude. How did we prepare and seeourselves as students, learners, and guests in Iran? What stereotypesand prejudices did we need to let go of to be open to what awaited us?

The most helpful advice came from an American Muslim livingin Iran. He reminded us that in preparing to go, we would need topack a variety of things, but the most important, he said, are smilingfaces, faith, hope, love, open minds, sincerity, questions, criticism,doubts, respect, appreciation, wonder, patience, forgiveness,sensitivity, piety, fear of God, honor, honesty, alertness, awareness,two books, and some coffee. Important advice! He suggested wethink of this experience as a sort of pilgrimage or visitation to a holysite, knowing that a pilgrimage is taken for the sake of God, and forexperiencing and encountering God.

With these words we left the United States and began ourpilgrimage. A one-day stay in Dubai was our last stop before headingfor Iran.

* * *

We left Dubai early one June morning in 2001 to make the final flightto Iran. The emotions of this flight were mixed and contradictory:excitement/fear, questioning/anticipation, anxiety/peace, doubts/hope. We couldn't eat the lovely breakfast that was served to us; theknots in our stomachs took up too much room.

The airliner began its descent into Tehran. We looked outthe windows to see a huge, modern-looking city, snow-coveredmountains, and much pollution. As the plane descended, womenbegan grabbing carry-on luggage and searching for scarves tocover their heads. The stewardess announced that all women mustcover their heads before entering the airport. I reached for my scarfand tried to remember all the steps necessary to wear it properly.Excitement on the plane was palpable as many Iranians lookedforward to reuniting with family.

The next hurdle was moving through the immigration process,where our visas were validated without difficulty. As we passedthe airport security area, we saw families with bouquets of flowerswaiting for their loved ones. We were welcomed by a professor, whowore a brown robe and a white turban, from the institute wherewe would be studying. Because we had met him once earlier, heimmediately recognized us in the crowd of passengers, came overto meet us in the security area, and managed to get us throughcustoms with a nod of his head. Nothing was checked; no questionswere asked. We walked with him through the crowded airport to awaiting car and driver who would take us to our new home in Qom.

From Tehran to Qom

Since we had read so extensively about Tehran and Qom before ourjourney to Iran, we were eager to finally experience these placesfirsthand. Reading about the crowded streets in Tehran, for example,was one thing, but experiencing the mass of cars, motorcycles, andpeople was quite another.

Families on motorcycles weaved in and out of traffic; cars andtaxis moved quickly, also weaving in and out of traffic; a couple oftaxis even drove against traffic. Meanwhile, a car was honking andtrying to back up in the moving traffic, while pedestrians seemedto be crossing the crowded streets with apparent ease. (Incidentally,when we led learning tours to Iran years later, we noticed that oneof the favorite activities among the participants was to stand on acorner in Tehran and watch the traffic.)

We were amazed at how clean (excluding the pollution) andmodern the city appeared. The outside of many buildings werepainted with pictures of martyrs from the Iran-Iraq War. Picturesof Imam Khomeini, leader of the 1979 Iranian Revolution, and thecurrent Supreme Leader, Ayatollah Khamenei, were visible nearlyeverywhere. Many small stores with all sorts of merchandise linedthe boulevards, and shoppers seemed to enjoy looking in the storewindows. The one word that describes Tehran on first impression:crowded.

I was eager to see how the Iranian women were dressed andnoticed a wide variety of hijab—the Muslim dress code for properlycovering the body. Many women were wearing the traditionalchador, but some wore tunic-style coats over designer jeans andscarves that fell back on the head. I had been told that my headshould be completely covered, so it was perplexing to see so manywomen with so much of their hair showing. I wondered what wouldbe expected of me.

After leaving the city, we drove on a modern four-lane highway thatwould take us to Qom, our final destination. The landscape betweenTehran and Qom is mostly barren and desert-like. One attractionalong the way is the holy shrine of Imam Khomeini—a shrine thatmillions of people visit each year to remember the imam, to pray,and to give alms. Our host was excited to point out this shrine as wetraveled by it. Later during our stay we would visit the shrine ourselves.

As we finally entered the city of Qom, a large, empty, and silentFerris wheel loomed in front of us—an odd welcome for the mostholy city in Iran. We were expecting to see a beautiful mosque;instead, we were greeted by this silent Ferris wheel—an enigma thatprepared us for the many other enigmas and paradoxes we wouldexperience while living in Iran.

Our First Taste of Iran

It was lunchtime when we arrived in Qom. Our driver took us tothe home of one of the professors at the institute where we would bestudying. He, his wife, and their preschool son warmly welcomed usinto their home, where lunch was waiting.

We were struck by the beautiful Persian carpets lining thefloors, the red pillows lining the walls of the living room, and mostimportantly, the smiles and gestures of welcoming faces. We wereinstructed to sit on the carpets where we were served chai ("hot tea")and fruit. The watermelon, peaches, cherries, and cucumbers tastedrefreshing on this 110-degree summer day. We were a bit worriedone of us might spill tea on the beautiful carpets, but this worry soonvanished when the preschool son was also served tea on the carpet.

It was here that we first learned the proper way of drinking teain Iran, which is to put a sugar cube in your mouth and hold it onyour tongue while you drink. I (Evie) somehow never learned to dothis and instead would drop the cube into my cup and experiencethe sweetness of the tea with the last swallow.

As we finished the tea and fruit, our hostess collected the cupsand plates and then spread a plastic tablecloth, which she called asofreh, on the floor. Her husband and son helped set the sofreh withplates, silverware, glasses, and a box of tissues, which are used asnapkins in Iran. A stereotype of ours was shaken as we watched themen of the household set the sofreh and participate in the preparationand serving of the meal. Where did we get the impression that itwas the duty of women in Iran to serve men? This was one of manystereotypes that would be challenged during our time in Iran.

Then a beautiful platter of saffron rice, colorfully decorated withred berries and pieces of pistachio nuts, was gently placed on thewaiting sofreh, followed by khoresh (Persian for "stew"), an Iranianstew consisting of some combination of lamb, red kidney beans, andmany herbs and spices all simmered together for hours.

The last dish to arrive was a lettuce salad with a dressingresembling Thousand Island; salads are customarily eaten at theend of the meal.

This was our first Persian meal and one that was to be repeatedmany times during our stay in Iran. Simply delicious!

Our New Home

We were eager to see where we would be living the next few yearsand had been told we would find it comfortable and modern. It wasmore than we expected! An apartment on the second level of anIranian home had been rented for us. Our landlord, an owner of asmall grocery store, lived in the apartment on the ground level withhis wife and five children. They eagerly greeted us when we arrived,and though they spoke no English, we sensed they were excited tohave us living with them. The children later became our teachers asthey helped us learn Iranian customs and practices.

We took off our shoes as we entered the building and withanticipation climbed the stairs leading to our new home. With aquick glance we knew we would have everything we needed: a fullyequipped kitchen; a large living area with a table, sofa, and chairs;a large bedroom with a queen-size bed; a water cooler to help coolthe hot, dry air; a bathroom with a shower; and a Western-styletoilet. And then there were the luxuries: a TV and DVD player;computers; mirrors; a deck opening into the courtyard; fresh fruitand pastries waiting for us on the table; and a large electric samovar(a metal container holding hot water for making tea). In our bedroomwe found special mirrors on the dresser and two candle stands,traditionally given as wedding gifts. As we looked around our newhome, we appreciated seeing the traditions of both cultures—Iranand the US—represented in our furnishings.