What I Know to Be True teaches you a simple and easy way to deepen your connection to your all-knowing inner wisdom. Imagine choosing to live that way! What if you could retain your sense of self, your sense of equilibrium, even in the face of life's most difficult and emotionally painful challenges? What if you could let go of what others think about you, your actions, and your choices, thereby reclaiming your personal power? What if you could connect to your deepest wisdom to feel safe and secure, regardless of circumstance? The Truth is you can! What I Know to Be True is a book, a practice, a way of life. It opens the gateway for you to connect to the truth-or knowing-that resides deep within you and acts as your personal GPS. You will learn to Know, Trust, and Live in your Truth. The practice of What I Know to Be True reminds you to . be guided by your own inner Truth, not someone else's truth for you . trust that you are never alone . deepen your connection with your spiritual self . live your life more fully with greater joy and ease Through personal stories, practical applications, and examples, this book teaches you many ways to use the simple practice of What I Know to Be True at any time, in any place. Start living your life in the only way that truly matters-from the place of your own Truth. "This book is so powerful! Using simple, practical, and heartfelt guiding words to break through our resistance, it is the beautiful and simple message that needs to be heard by all. Truly an inspired work" ~ Denise Romano "Since using What I Know to Be True, I direct my energies towards peace and harmony, which I'd been trying to do for a while. The difference is that I now come from my core instead of from my head" ~ Laurie Cameron "This book is the absolute best of all the good self-help books put together into one" ~ Lisa Cimino
What I Know to Be True
Six Simple Words to Set You FreeBy LISA JACOBY CAROLINE J TEMPLEBalboa Press
Copyright © 2012 Lisa Jacoby & Caroline J Temple
All right reserved.ISBN: 978-1-4525-4226-3 Contents
Our Stories................................................................1The Way In.................................................................10Why We Need What I Know to Be True.........................................14You are the Gateway, What I Know to Be True is the Key.....................25Stepping into Your Light...................................................28The Seed...................................................................29What I Know to Be True: The Practice.......................................30* Soothe Yourself..........................................................35* Relief from Mental Chatter...............................................37* Shift Negative Thoughts..................................................39* Stressful Situations.....................................................41* Relief from Physical Pain................................................42* Diffuse Conflict.........................................................43* With Partner or Child....................................................44* Decision Making..........................................................46* Upon Waking..............................................................47* Journaling...............................................................48* Sleep Aid................................................................49* Balance Heart and Mind...................................................50* Meditation Deepens your Experience.......................................51* Find Peace from the Inside Out (Meditation)..............................53* Icon Meditation..........................................................57* Remember Your Truth......................................................58What I Know to Be True Truisms.............................................60* Universal Knowing........................................................62* Creation.................................................................70* Thoughts/Beliefs.........................................................75* Inner Peace..............................................................81* Being Present............................................................84* Mindfulness..............................................................89* Emotions.................................................................98* Fear.....................................................................110* Perfection...............................................................115* Self-Worth...............................................................118* Judgment.................................................................127* Responsibility...........................................................131* Validation...............................................................133* Control..................................................................138* Trust....................................................................143* Change...................................................................147* Connection...............................................................149* Expansion................................................................152* Appreciation.............................................................156* Giving/Receiving.........................................................159* Contrast.................................................................161* Meaning and Purpose......................................................162* Balance..................................................................165* Harmony..................................................................166* Walk the Talk............................................................167Remember Who You Really Are................................................169About the Authors..........................................................173
Chapter One
Our Stories
Lisa
I have, for a long time, considered myself to be well-developed spiritually. From a young age, I was interested in personal growth, development, and all things unexplained. I had read a tremendous range of books on subjects from becoming clutter-free to life-after-death. I'd studied different spiritual perspectives from Native American to Buddhist, attended workshops and seminars, from Werner Erhard's EST in the 1970's to Abraham-Hicks' more recent The Art of Allowing.. With all that "enlightenment" I felt I had become a fairly centered, clear-eyed individual who could handle most of life's challenges with grace and ease.
And so it was with great surprise that I found myself responding to a stressful situation with a significant lack of grace. In the process of dissolving a business partnership, my partners had a decidedly different perspective than I about how to share in the sale proceeds. After much (and sometimes heated) dialogue back and forth it became apparent that there was heightened negative emotion on all sides attached to our perspectives.
I was angry that my partners did not agree with me. I felt my proposal was more than fair. How could we be so far off in our perspectives? I found myself stewing about the perceived unfairness, thoughts and emotions swirling continuously in my head. The cloud of the situation followed my every move, affecting all of my activities. I was trapped in the pain of the situation.
As time passed, I realized I felt wounded, as if my partners failed to value any of the contributions I had made in creating our successful business. I believed that their suggested remuneration diminished my efforts. (They, of course, felt the same diminishment from my offer.)
When I realized the truth of my "wounding" reaction I was able to gain more perspective and approach the disagreement more objectively. I did still feel, however, that I needed to honor myself and be honest about how I felt. I offered a compromised solution. The compromise was also rejected and I faced yet another wounding.
I was stuck. Their combined vote in the partnership outweighed mine; there was no recourse. How was I to live with this? Not only was I feeling wounded but friendships were at stake. Clearly this was a core issue for me. What had happened in my childhood that allowed for this reaction? Was it from another lifetime, perhaps? An unresolved karmic issue? Whatever the source, the pain that surfaced was real and breathtaking in its effect. When I was able to focus on the feelings that arose, my list read like this:
"I feel less than, small, unworthy, undeserving, dumb, incapable, ineffective."
The tears flowed.
I felt just like the little girl who used to hide under the coffee table when visitors arrived. So terribly shy, I sometimes wanted to disappear from the world. I'm not sure what I was afraid people would see, I only knew that perceived strangers, even my own grandparents, imposed pain just by requiring my interaction. Making myself smaller allowed me to escape interactions and minimize my pain, or so I thought.
Now it appeared that my child-self was now in charge. But why?
Where was the enlightened perspective I needed at this moment in time? Where were the universal lessons I thought I understood and was trying to live my life by? I started saying daily affirmations and prayers to help heal my issues of self-worth. I knew that if I didn't address this, my issues would continue to surface.
Meditating one morning, I flashed on the most recent communication from my partners, which outlined the reasons they felt I was not entitled to a greater share of the proceeds. The pain in my gut raged, and I thought, "How can I clear this for myself? How can I heal this?"
And then I heard myself say to myself:
I feel wounded by another who does not value my contribution, however,
* What I Know to Be True is that I have made a significant contribution.
* What I Know to Be True is that my contribution may not be reflected monetarily.
* What I Know to Be True is that my participation created good will and generated revenue.
* What I Know to Be True is that I recognize my contribution, even if others do not, and that is enough.
* What I Know to Be True is that I can hear and understand my partners even if I have a different perspective.
* What I Know to Be True is that I am a whole and healthy individual.
* What I Know to Be True is that I have tremendous gifts.
* What I Know to Be True is that I will use my tremendous gifts for other projects.
* What I Know to Be True is that by holding onto this wound I will not be able to release it and move forward.
* What I Know to Be True is that this realization does not minimize the truth of my emotional response to the situation.
* What I Know to Be True is that this realization allows me to remember my core truth, which is the essence of my being and all that really matters.
Coming out of that meditation, I felt a huge physical change, as if from every cell of my being.
The words and practice of what would become known as "What I Know to Be True" had connected me with non-physical Source in a direct and powerful way, with clarity and purity that acted like a brilliant white light. It brought me back to my knowing, my higher Truth. This was Truth beyond doubt, Truth without judgment, Truth that could not be swayed. I felt weightless and liberated, filled with the lightness of being and the lightness of spirit. By choosing to get quiet and meditate I had touched on something incredibly simple, yet deeply powerful at the same time.
Feeling like I could take flight, vibrating with joy and excitement, I anticipated all the good things to come. There was no longer room for resentment or hurt. I didn't know what to do; the energy was flowing so profoundly. It was hard to remember a time when I'd felt so exalted, so radiant, or so open to the possibilities.
I recognized that the What I Know to Be True statements coming to me were Truth I was remembering from the Me that I'd disconnected from in my pain. The Me that is the conscious connection to Source. They were the gateway that took me beyond the words we've been taught to say or believe, to the Truth I could feel.
The next thought I had was that I needed to share this with others. I thought of my friend Caroline, a holistic psychotherapist, with whom I'd recently shared a touching synchronistic moment. The next morning Caroline and I were scheduled to have breakfast and I couldn't wait to share my new-found practice.
I pulled out the printed pages I'd written about my A-ha moment along with additional examples. She read the first one and began to cry. She read another one and felt completely overwhelmed, explaining that I'd captured an issue that spoke to the core of something that had recently surfaced for her, an issue she'd been struggling with for some time.
From there, our discussions led naturally and almost instantly to the creation of this simple, yet powerful practice. We knew our collaboration would continue to help us in our own journeys of growth, and at the same time benefit others. But it took another two years of living with and using the practice of What I Know to Be True to truly understand how to best share the profound changes it afforded.
Caroline
Unlike Lisa, I had always struggled with meditation, having fallen prey to the myths of "I should be able to empty my mind completely" or it being something that "I can't do." Busy looking outside myself for the answers, I seldom had enough patience to sit quietly with myself long enough for any wisdom to show up! I attended workshops and read books, visited psychics and studied new spiritual tools, adding one at a time to my toolbox and building on the excitement of previous discoveries. Still, I yearned for the sense of peace that others seemed to have, but which I struggled to find. Although I was aware of an overall uneasiness, coupled with a continual sense of anxiety and stress, up until that day at the diner with Lisa, I had been doing a decent job of ignoring the signals.
That's when all the shame I'd been sitting on became undeniable.
It had been a year since I'd made the very difficult decision to end my marriage and move out of our dream house on the water. I'd desperately hurt and angered both my husband and my children. I lost friends. I felt judged by others and further judged myself, internalizing that judgment as shame. "I must be a bad person," I thought. I felt afraid of what others would think. Blaming myself harshly, I isolated and hid from others, becoming more and more miserable the more I alienated myself. I tried to reconcile my actions and find peace in the paradox of knowing that I had followed my own truth to get here, but the cloak of shame enveloped me. I wanted the feelings to go away; I wanted to fix the problem. I focused on helping others instead of myself, but the more I focused on others, the more the uncomfortable feelings appeared in front of me, as if to say "here I am again." In fact, the more determined I was to escape or justify the truth of my feelings, the heavier and more painful they became. Inevitably, the day came when I hit bottom emotionally, looked myself in the mirror and stepped onto the long hard road of healing.
It was shortly thereafter that Lisa introduced me to What I Know to Be True. The relief I felt in that moment was palpable. I could FEEL the shift immediately. There was actually a way to support the inner truth that I had been hanging onto for dear life, (the one telling me that I was not a bad person), while at the same time take responsibility for my actions and acknowledge the hurt I had caused others without drowning in it any longer.
I was ashamed of my behavior, however ...
* What I Know to Be True is that I am only human and as such I will inevitably struggle with difficult decisions.
* What I Know to Be True is that my mistakes don't make me a bad person.
* What I Know to Be True is that facing my truth with honesty and integrity will set me free from shame.
* What I Know to Be True is that I can support myself better if I stop judging myself so harshly.
* What I Know to Be True is that I am here to learn and this experience holds a wealth of teaching, if I choose to listen to my inner wisdom.
* What I Know to Be True is that I deserve to be happy and fulfilled.
* What I Know to Be True is that I can apologize to the people I hurt by telling them the truth.
* What I Know to Be True is that by holding onto this shame and continuing to hide, I will forestall my healing and growth.
* What I Know to Be True is that if I really tap into my Truth, I will be guided and fully supported on my journey.
* What I Know to Be True is that I am not alone.
The practice of What I Know to Be True reminded me that, even though I was feeling tremendously sad and guilty about some of my choices, I was not a bad person. Of course, there was more internal work to be done. I continued to explore and feel my way through it, with the help of therapy and spiritual reflection, readings, workshops and the love of my friends and family. Being honest with myself, and Lisa, and using the words What I Know to Be True, immediately shifted my internal battle. It was as if both voices could put down their weapons, call a truce and move forward. That was the moment I began to see beyond the shame. I began to forgive myself for my many mistakes and look to the future as a stronger, wiser person, determined to learn from my experiences and live more fully in Truth.
The decision to partner with Lisa on writing this book was an easy one for me. I discovered that not only did What I Know to Be True have deep resonance for me personally, it was also a perfect complement to the work I was already doing as I sought to help my therapy clients find relief from the intensity of difficult feelings and experiences. In teaching others to tap into their own truth through the practice of What I Know to Be True, I have found a more centered, calmer place in the here and now, for both myself and those I seek to help. I have also discovered that this concept has the power to help access a connection to something bigger, something more meaningful and universal. My life is enriched beyond belief as a result of using this simple, powerful tool.
After two years of collaborating with Lisa, I have learned to use What I Know to Be True on many different levels. It has helped me get in touch with my true self, the one I had kept hidden behind the encumbrance of unworthiness and the barrage of negative mental chatter. The window opened up to allow me to see and be seen with honesty and vulnerability. What I Know to Be True helped me to deepen my journey of seeking my Truth and finding out who I really am. I know it will do the same for you.
What began as a gift we used to ease the pain of emotional situations has evolved into an on-going journey of self-discovery and freedom. You will have different burdens, challenges, and experiences to address in your own life. And, whatever they may be, however large or small, the practice of What I Know to Be True will help you navigate rough waters towards a more centered, peaceful and conscious you.
Chapter Two
The Way In
Saying the words What I Know to Be True acts as a cue, a prompt that immediately shifts you to your center. The words short-circuit what the mind is telling you, allowing you to open your heart and find peace, regardless of what is going on around you.
What I Know to Be True is a book, a phrase, a practice, a way of life. These six simple words that showed up like a gift will help you in many ways. They will:
* transform your life on a daily basis and provide relief from stress
* teach you how to love yourself while judging yourself (and others) less
* offer relief from the intensity of difficult feelings and experiences
* reduce reactivity in emotionally charged situations
* help you to find the "pause" required to detach from controlling emotions
* support and connect you with yourself and others even when you are feeling unhappy, misunderstood or alone
* help diffuse conflict
* provide an affirmation and reminder to center yourself in every day moments of your life
* create a meditation to reconnect with your higher self, with Source, with universal energy
* teach you how to connect with your true self
What I Know to Be True is a practice that helps you discover your Truth. What do we mean? We're referring to the Truth that comes from your higher self, the place of all-knowing Source. It is the Truth that resonates with the best expression of yourself, and confidently aligns you with a feeling of clarity and purity. It connects you with the divine in you, full of love and grace, and always there for you. It invites you to experience a return to Source, teaches you how to find peace when there appears to be none, and how to find connection when you feel alone and afraid. It will bring your attention to the wisdom of your soul, something bigger than you that is only known and experienced inside of you.
Truth comes with ease. It cannot be learned or forced. It needs to be experienced. We are wiser than our brains, deeper than our thoughts. Truth is felt differently for each of us. Truth is not found in someone else's words. It is not found in intellect or in the reading of yet another spiritual book, including this one. It is not found by looking to another's version of truth or through external validation. It is found in the core of each of us. It is found in "being" in stillness, not in "doing" or taking on more. Give yourself a break. Pause and exhale. Step back from the myriad of thoughts, and see how a bird's eye view changes your perception. Inner peace is found in Truth–your Truth. Learn to trust yourself through this practice.
(Continues...)
Excerpted from What I Know to Be Trueby LISA JACOBY CAROLINE J TEMPLE Copyright © 2012 by Lisa Jacoby & Caroline J Temple. Excerpted by permission of Balboa Press. All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
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