... why, why God, why?
By Robert Lee HarrisiUniverse, Inc.
Copyright © 2010 Robert Lee Harris
All right reserved.ISBN: 978-1-4502-7651-1Contents
Chapter 1 ... why, why God, why?....................................................1Chapter 2 Putting Sin in Its Pen....................................................11Chapter 3 The Poison Story..........................................................22Chapter 4 Soldier of the Lord.......................................................31Chapter 5 Don't Throw Away This Chance! The dart story..............................34Chapter 6 Our Mud Jug Minds.........................................................38Chapter 7 The Power of Your Words...................................................48Chapter 8 Through Christ, I Have Overcome...........................................55Chapter 9 Hope Against Hope.........................................................57Chapter 10 Handing Over My Treasures................................................66Chapter 11 Knowing Is Not Enough....................................................74Chapter 12 Just Because You Got It, Doesn't Mean You'll Keep It.....................79Chapter 13 The Path of Life.........................................................85
Chapter One
... why, why God, why?
I was having a stressful day at work, and decided to retreat to the house for some quiet time. After arriving home and changing clothes, I went for a walk on the trails in my back yard and adjoining woods. The yard was like a nature park, with many trees and all the wild animals you'd expect to find in a wetland area. I walked down the path, through the arbor, and over a small bridge that crossed a running brook. I then went upstream past the striped bass, rabbits, raccoons, and woodpeckers, until I finally arrived at a big tree that had fallen over the brook, where I took my rest.
As I was sitting on this fallen tree watching the water flow underneath me, I started to rethink my day—my life, really. No one was going to ask anything of me now, but I had some questions of my own that only God could answer. So, I started to pray out loud, telling God what was not right in my life. I was angry about it, too. Over my lifetime, I had been mistreated, used, lied to, lied about, manipulated, conned, broken-hearted, cheated, excluded, not included, looked down on, ridiculed, stolen from, robbed, and much, much more than what can be listed here, leaving me feeling oppressed and depressed, to say the least.
My question to God was, "Why? Why, I ask? Why am I continuously in these situations in my life? Why am I struggling with my job? I'm a good guy. So, why don't people accept me? The Christians act as if they are too good for me, and the worldly people won't associate with me, either."
People have always said I was unique and different. But, let me tell you, being special is not what it's cracked up to be, especially when you're the one left outside looking in.
I continued again, "Why am I not married and not even in a relationship? Why am I not loved? Where are my children—my little boy and girl? Why? Why God? Why?"
Meanwhile, as I was expressing my great pain with God, I poked a stick into the sandy brook below. Jabbing the stick deeper and deeper with every complaint, my stick hit something in the sand and it moved!
It was springtime, and I had yet to see my first alligator turtle of the season, so I worked to get it up. After a moment of digging, the turtle came out of the sand, and I flipped it up onto the little sand bar in front of me. To my surprise, it was not a turtle at all. It was just a piece of driftwood—nothing more. Being disappointed that it was not a turtle, the "why" questions started, again.
I asked, "Why couldn't this have been a turtle? You are God of the universe and Creator of all things. You could have easily done this for me. God, I'm not at ease with my life. Why is everything going wrong? Why has my life been such a hard road with no rest? Why? Why God? Why?"
As I was asking my questions, I found myself staring at this piece of driftwood, which, until now, was just a simple piece of wood, with no value and no shape to it. I can't really explain it, only to say, the longer I looked at it, the more it seemed to have meaning. I don't mean it moved or was molded into a shape before my eyes, but it was as if that is what happened. Because, after a few minutes, I stopped speaking and the driftwood took shape.
What shape did it take? It was the most perfect question mark I had ever seen, including a stylish dot at the bottom. I mean, if God were to make a question mark of driftwood, this is what it would look like. In fact, I'm saying this is exactly what He did. And, He did it for me right there in the middle of my questions to Him. He sent a question to me made of driftwood.
Suddenly, but softly, God in Spirit revealed His presence, and I realized my question was not the only question on the table, or sand bar, in this case. God was asking me a question. God, the Creator of all things, had delivered to me the perfect question mark made of wood. Now, as I was sitting on that fallen tree, I was being asked a question.
What better way to get my attention than this? What better way to get me to come to my senses than to ask a question that would bring me to the conclusion He wanted? There are many examples in the Bible where God uses questions in order to get people to self actualize.
Realizing God Himself was really here with me and had showed up to answer my questions was very overwhelming. His presence is large to a point of not being able to measure or explain. God is Spirit, and was speaking directly to my spirit. I didn't see with my eyes, nor hear with my ears, but my spirit man knew Him well.
Understanding this was a real moment in the presence of God, where God was now asking me a question. This was quite the turn around He must have wanted. My emotions and spirit were humbled to a place of receiving His words.
However, I did not know the question God was asking. So, partly in fear and partly in eager anticipation, yet, filled with great expectations, I asked, "What are you asking me, God?"
Then, God simply gave His question to me, just as I had given Him my question, "When—when Robert—when?" That was God's question to me. He asked it with great patience, but with a sense that He had been waiting on me for a long time, and as if I had been running or hiding from God's calling on my life. And yes, I had been hiding in my shell, like a turtle not wanting to come out and face my destiny. In a way, digging up that supposed turtle was like digging me up out of the sand, too.
The question was also posed with expectations of a response of what time I would be implementing these plans. There was a start date expected of me, but it was not being demanded. It was my choice to make. However, I knew starting down this path was the right thing to do, and it would answer the deep calling on my life. This would be the step of faith where I would need to lift my hand and take hold of His, because the traffic on the path was just too dangerous to walk the path alone.
Time seemed to stand still, or not be of any consequence, so I really don't know how long I was there. Nothing in my entire life before, or to come, would be more important than being right there in that moment with the Lord. What He gave me that day has fed me ever since. His words are alive and living in me as daily food.
There was more behind God's question to me, and the meaning came as I sat on the tree staring at the question mark. God said, "You know I have a plan for your life. You know I have called you to preach and to teach."
And, I knew exactly what He meant. People have told me for years that I was to be a preacher, teacher, father, and husband, and yes, even an author. Some of these people cursed me as they said it, but that didn't bother me in a negative way, because I knew His calling on my life and it was the right fit for me.
Now, please don't misunderstand me. I didn't always act in a way during my life that lined up with His calling. And, for that, I'm very sorry. If I'd only answered His calling at a younger age and stayed on the path set before me in life, I wonder what greater good would be accredited to Him through me. People that barely knew me, and had no reason at all to call me preacher, did so. And, I'd wonder (sometimes laughing inside), how does he know my calling? God must be at work. Growing up, my own brothers and sisters would call me "preacher brother." In fact, my dad named me after a great preacher, Dr. Robert G. Lee, of Bellevue Baptist Church, in Memphis, Tennessee. And, the last thing my dad said to my wife was, "Help him write his book."
But, there was more to God's question. Let me try to explain it the way I received it from Him. God said, "When, when Robert, when are you going to start the things I have called you to do? And when, when Robert, when are you going to stop doing the ungodly things you do in the face of an unseen Holy God?"
The double-edged sword to be used to get me started was simply to start and to stop. One was to start, on purpose, the things that God was calling me to do during my life. The other was to stop, on purpose, those things that would distract, dishonor, or delay my walk with the Lord. That was it, and it was right for me.
With that, I hopped down to the sand bar, picked up my piece of driftwood, and headed off in a new direction of life. I put sin in its pen and put away all relationships that would have kept me away from His calling. Within a few months, I was teaching and then, soon, preaching. I also stopped dating and started seeking God and His righteousness.
Within a few years, I met a lovely lady, made a commitment to her in marriage, and now we have four children. By the way, I've told this story over the years, and at some point I stopped telling it with the little girl in it, thinking I was helping God out. But, hear my testimony well, after having three boys in a row, my little girl, Dayton-Brooke, was born. Everything I was crying out to God about, down to the last detail, was completed within His plan for me.
God can be so funny sometimes, while revealing that He is intimately involved in our life. Remember in the main story when I asked God where my little boy was? The day my first son was born, I said, "My son has finally been born into this world."
Well, here was my son, Collin, answering that question years later, with those bright eyes and big smile, as he was waving his little hand real high saying, "Here, me is—Dad—over here Dad, here me is!"
Yeah, from time to time, God let me know my prayer was answered. My son may not have known why he was saying it, and saying that way, but I sure did.
Thank you, Lord. Blessed be the name of the Lord, who gave from His Treasure Room and answered my prayers.
Now the calling or message behind God's question here may be a little different for you than it was for me. So, ask God yourself what He wants you to do. Like me, you may already know, but haven't acted upon it, yet. And, you may be like me, praying the same prayer to God over and over, but seemed to be stuck in life. Well, it may be time for you to rise up, come on, and follow the call of the Lord today. Here were the two questions that helped me so much—see if they can help you as well.
I asked, "... why, why God, why?"
God asked, "When—when (your name)—when?"
Visit our website, where you'll be able to read what God's question above meant in other people's life. And if you'd like, you may e-mail a few lines of how this question pertains to your life. We hope to encourage people with these stories. On the website, you will also be able to purchase some of my memorabilia.
www.whywhyGodwhy.org
Chapter Two
Putting Sin in Its Pen
Let's start with a story for illustrative purposes. I made up the story in this chapter, but all the other stories throughout the book are true and really happened.
One day, I asked a friend over for dinner to talk about some important issues. When my friend arrived, he rang the doorbell, opened the door, and walked through the house to find me in the living room. He also noticed there was a dog inside my house. He asked, "Whose dog?"
I answered, "Mine. The neighbors couldn't take him with them when they moved, and so they gave the dog to me. His name is Moby. He's a black lab, and he's very friendly."
As my friend was starting to pet Moby, he said, "I really don't have a problem with your dog, but the lack of house training has become a problem. This dog was kept outside in your neighbor's dog pen, right?"
I answered, "Yes. I have a dog pen too, but I don't want him to get away. So, I never let him outside."
My friend started pinching his nose and waving his hand in front of his face as he walked through the house.
He said, "Well, to tell you the truth, it stinks in here, and the dog has left his mess all over your nice floors."
I said, "I'm glad you like my dog, because some people have complained, and I don't see the harm. Now, let's make a sandwich and get on to more important matters."
But, my friend waved me outside to the back porch and said, "I don't want to stay in there anymore, and I've lost my appetite. I'll tell you what—I really care about you and want to help. So, let's make some improvements in the way you're dealing with the dog. This will make it easier for me to have fellowship with you.
"First, let's move the dog out to its proper place—the dog pen. Next, let's open up all the windows for some fresh air. Then, let's clean up the mess off the floors and start repairing some of the damage."
I responded, "I told you it's not that bad, and you don't need to worry about the dog anymore."
But, my friend was not going to let this go. He explained, "I can't live like this, and you shouldn't, either. Letting the dog rule your life and the entire house devalues and degrades the property so much that no one wants to come inside.
"The dog is tearing up everything that you worked so hard to accomplish, including relationships. What once was valued is now under the power of a dog, who wants nothing more than to destroy. I have no choice—I can't stay in this house. But, I'll never leave you. I'll pray and call you constantly as your friend, ready, willing, and able to help. This will be the way our relationship will stand until you change what's ruling your life."
Now, let me explain the meaning behind the story and how it relates to us in everyday life. The house in the story represents your body, the temple of God. (That is, if your Savior is Jesus the Christ.) The dog represents sin, which tries to take over all aspects of our lives. The friend represents the Holy Spirit, who is working with us in order to put sin in its proper place—the pen.
Most of the time, people can't even see the mess that sin causes in their lives. The cost of sin starts out small and manageable. But, it grows and grows every day in small intervals, until it costs everything. Then, shame takes hold, and doors to relationships, jobs, and opportunities start to close, eventually destroying a life that was once grand.
The devil's schemes to kill, steal, and destroy starts off as a piece of bait. But, there's a hook in it. Separation from God is revealed in a lack of prayer life and not attending church, which leaves people thinking they can do it on their own. God's family includes many—not just one. The final stage leaves addicted, sinful people isolated and alone, which accomplishes the plans of the devil.
God sees what sin has done to people and what terrible condition it has left them in, and it breaks His heart. But, God's grace and forgiveness is greater than all sin. He shows up and speaks simple statements of truth, like put sin in its pen, air the place out, clean this mess up, and don't associate with those who are involved in such sinful acts.
If only we all had ears to hear and a heart to obey, we would all be on our way to His Kingdom. But, not all can hear. Furthermore, there are people who hear God's truth, but choose not to walk in His words of truth and deliverance.
Over the years, as a preacher and teacher of the ways of the Lord, I've spoken with many who would admit their addictions. They've told me exactly what needs to be done in order to clean their lives up, which is proof they've heard from God. Yet, they refuse to take the necessary steps to come out of that type of lifestyle. The Lord has answered their prayers, but they won't obey. Instead they continue praying for deliverance over and over without any changes, wondering why they are stuck. Their faith, in God to deliver them, has no substance and there is nothing for God to work with. How can the Good Shepherd lead if they don't move towards Him? They know what to do and what to stop doing, but choose the same old ways as before. They're only relying on their own personal power and strength as they seek self satisfaction.
More times than not, they don't consider relying on God's power that's readily available to them. They treat Him as if He has no power to help them in their personal situations. They're living in a jail cell, with the key (His power) in their pocket, and they won't take it out and simply open the door to freedom. One never gets past any closed or locked door in life until power is used to unlock and open it. Don't misunderstand me, the power of sin and the ways of the devil are strong. But, God's power of deliverance is greater.
(Continues...)
Excerpted from ... why, why God, why?by Robert Lee Harris Copyright © 2010 by Robert Lee Harris. Excerpted by permission of iUniverse, Inc.. All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
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